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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637440">amidst love, pain is present</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwavenus/pseuds/iwavenus'>iwavenus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, haikyuu!! - Freeform, heartbroken oikawa, i wanted to write something short and would make me cry, im sorry, im sorry oikawa, iwaoi - Freeform, married iwazumi, short and sad, short kuroo appearance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:07:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>809</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwavenus/pseuds/iwavenus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>iwazumi gives his all. oikawa observes with a heart that never mended and a wavering smile.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>amidst love, pain is present</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oikawa was suffocating. suffocating in ways others couldn’t seem to understand. suffocating within voicelessly plastered walls and suffocating beneath deafening silence. suffocating as the dust settled deep within mahogany tiles builds day by day, second by second and he couldn’t bear to live this way</p><p>the obsidian tie hung loose around his neck, but he took in endlessly shallow breaths that seemingly strangled him further. his palms were flooding with growing sweat and he continued to wipe them against disarrayed slacks. he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t. </p><p>“oikawa!” </p><p>oikawa released a strangled breath, seeing a glowing iwazumi approach from his peripheral and he quickly plastered a smile on his face.</p><p>[ don’t ruin this for him. be happy, it’s easy.]</p><p>“thank you for showing up, man! to be honest, i didn’t think you’d actually open the invite.” he carelessly laughed, slinging a persistent arm around oikawa’s shoulder. oikawa unnoticeable shrunk backwards in pure discomfort. </p><p>“yeah. congratulations, man.” oikawa dunked under the intruding arm, shuffling away. his heart twinged with guilt, the words were emotionless. he mentally wished iwazumi wouldn’t notice and with the growing smile plastered on his old friends face — it was safe to say that he didn’t. </p><p>“thanks, ‘kawa! means a lot, seems like everyday keeps getting better with her. she’s a real dream.” </p><p>[ it hurts. it hurts. it hurts. ]</p><p>“I bet.” the walls were starting to close in again, he needed to get out. “i’ll see you out there, man. i need to find my seat before kuroo decides to switch them.” </p><p>instant understanding occupied iwazumi’s face, accompanying a laugh that echoed deep within his heart. why does everything hurt?</p><p>“yeah, definitely! see you out there.” </p><p>oikawa wasted no time, leaving the suffocating house and entering the vineyard. </p><p>he could breath again. </p><p>——</p><p>hours had passed since oikawa sat down and his butt was starting to numb, the ceremony didn’t start until five more minutes and he couldn’t bring himself to socialize. sure, he greeted people. it was the polite thing to do, but he refused conversations. he was drained. </p><p>“oikawa!” </p><p>[ shit. ]</p><p>releasing a hindered sigh, he turned towards the familiar voice. </p><p>“what’s up! it feels like forever since we last talked, bro.” kuroo playfully tugged on oikawa’s cheek, placing himself next to the brooding male with no regard at all. </p><p>oikawa opened his mouth to answer, but the telling chime of the wedding bell echoed within the vineyard — thus signaling the start of the ceremony and oikawa’s heart shattered once more. </p><p>he blanked. </p><p>and as the ceremony came to an end, oikawa could taste bile amongst chocolate cake within his mouth. his ears rung. his heartbeat withered. and iridescent tears threatened to fall, but he smiled. </p><p>he smiled for iwazumi, watching him carelessly dance with an unwavering laugh directed towards his lover. and he couldn’t ruin this. he refused to. </p><p>instead, oikawa took his leave. </p><p>quietly and without any parting words, his trembling hands grabbed onto his withered suit jacket and he departed, unnoticed. </p><p>——</p><p>love wasn’t made for him. oikawa understood this, but why couldn’t he stop all the unrealistic fantasies replaying within his mind? all it did was hurt him more. it hurt endlessly.</p><p>[ it hurts. it hurts. it hurts. ]</p><p>“it—...hurts.” oikawa gasped out, bent over his porcelain toilet bowl as he emptied the remnants within his stomach. the stench of sour chocolate cake prevalent as prolonged tears drifted down his cheeks, familiar and without any destination. </p><p>oikawa wanted to scream. </p><p>so, he did. </p><p>his sobs echoed, ricocheting along his deteriorating bathroom walls and oikawa’s throat tightened when he stopped. pressing his damp cheek against his trembling arms as his tired eyes drifted along the familiar room, landing on the recently discarded iphone that was placed inches away from where he pathetically laid. </p><p>[ dear, oikawa tooru. </p><p>we are leaving this message to inform you of your screening results. we are sorry to say, but we have found a mass located deep within your chest. this mass is connected to many important parts, including your heart, and we have yet to find a way to remove it. </p><p>we are estimating that this is the cause of your recent pain and we are, once more, deeply sorry to inform you there is no cure at the moment. </p><p>due to our delayed discovery of this tumor, your time has been cut down significantly. at most, you have one month. we are, however, able to delay your date with available treatment.</p><p>please return our call whenever you can. </p><p>thank you. ]</p><p>oikawa was suffocating. suffocating in ways others couldn’t seem to understand. suffocating within voicelessly plastered walls and suffocating beneath deafening silence. suffocating as the dust settled deep within mahogany tiles builds day by day, second by second. </p><p>and he tried, he did. </p><p>but oikawa was lonely and the pain was unbearable. </p><p>he couldn’t bear to live. so, he didn’t.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hope you guys enjoyed my first story !! this took a little less than an hour and i ended up crying a lot — i hope you guys aren’t too sad. </p><p>amidst love, pain is present.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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